Tonight, I stayed home from rehearsal sick with something that can feel as horrible as the flu.
I stayed home sick with anxiety.
Anxiety disorders can feel impossible to live with. They seem to grab hold of any ounce of confidence and squeeze the life out of it, leaving the sufferer curled up and shaking on the bathroom floor or any other escape they can find. Social anxiety robs you of the ability to make friends in a normal way, causing you to scrutinize every little thing to make sure you're not pushing them away, like you've done so many times before. I wouldn't wish the sickness or fear that comes with an anxiety disorder on anyone.
But there is something that makes all the pain and struggling worth it: God.
I believe that anxiety sufferers can feel the intensity of God's peace and love in a strong and powerful way. They know what it's like to be in nearly intolerable amounts of distress, so when God's love hits, it's clear. The shaking stops. The tears transform from tears of panic into tears of pure love and peace. The entire body is engulfed by warmth. The experience is indescribable and surpasses any earthly feeling. When this happens to me, I know without a doubt that God is with me. He is always watching over me, and all of His beloved children.
The next time you feel like everything is crashing down on you and you can't even seem to breathe, call on God. Let Him in. Fall into the loving embrace of your Father, for He is always waiting for you to come to Him.